The text is not black enough.
Client: The text is not black enough.Me: It is set as ‘Black’ in the style sheet….
Client: Ok, but can you make it blacker than that black?
Me: Hold on, I’ll try something. Give me an hour.
I went to lunch.
Me: Okay, can you refresh your browser now?
Client: Yes, thats better, thanks.
from clientsfromhell:
Source: clientsfromhell
Client: “My friend says that he has a website that runs regardless of whether or not the internet is working.”
Me: “No he doesn’t.”
Client: “Are you calling my friend Kenneth a liar?”
Me: “No, just that maybe Kenneth has been… misguided.”
Client: “Maybe. He DID send a lot of money to that Nigerian prince a while ago.”
Source: clientsfromhell
It looks like over time the submit button has begun to fade out a bit. Is it possible to upload a fresh button? I want all the buttons on my site to look new all the time.
Source: clientsfromhell
Me: “The password is ‘123456’.”
Client: “Upper or lower case?”
via clientsfromhell
Source: clientsfromhell
The art & science of client cost-estimates
Airline Client: “You quoted us for 8 days of 2D graphics. I think that’s way too much.”
Me: “It includes revisions.”
Airline Client: “Well, if you do everything perfectly and we don’t want to change anything, can you charge us less?”
Colleague: “If your airline flew us to London and got us there 10 minutes ahead of schedule, would everyone on the plane get a refund?”
via “clientsfromhell”
Source: clientsfromhell
Another classic from ClientsFromHell
Me: “Ok, we’ve pushed the site live.”Client: “Why isn’t the site #1 on Google yet?”
Me: “We just pushed it live five minutes ago.”
Client: “Optimize the fireball.”
Me: “I’m sorry? Do you mean the firewall?”
Client: “I need more hits NOW, so I need you to optimize the fireball. I know what I’m talking about!”
Me: “We’ll get right on it.”
Another classic from clientsfromhell:
Source: clientsfromhell
If we do post this [Word] document to the Internet, will more than one person be able to view it at the same time? If so, how many?
Source: clientsfromhell
Can you design a logo for me?
- Prospective client: $400 for a logo?! Why are you so expensive? My nephew has Photoshop—I can just get him to do it.
- Me: Does your nephew have Microsoft Word?
- Prospective client: Yes.
- Me: Then have him write you a novel while he’s at it.
- Not really from me, but from: "clientsfromhell"
Source: clientsfromhell
Lorem ipsum something something
I sent out a link to the beta of a site I was building for a client. Since it was powered by a CMS, the pages still used dummy content. I got a kick out of the email I got back:
“We love the site, but one thing: maybe our computer is broken, but everything seems to be getting translated into Latin. It just says ‘Lorem ipsum something something’. Maybe something is broken with the site or else do we need to change a setting?”
via clientsfromhell:
This has actually happened to me. Seriously.
Source: clientsfromhell
The Vendor Client relationship
I’m not sure if this is funny or tragic. All I know is it’s pretty familiar.
Source: youtube.com
